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I rarely get political.

The few that might listen are unlikely to agree with me and most simply won’t give a damn.

The whole issue of electoral authenticity however is too good an opportunity to pass up.

The Maasai tribes of Africa nailed the process of naming their chiefs a number of years ago.

They began with the rites of adolescent passage: spend 3 months in the forest - learn how to herd cows – and kill a predator.

To actually rise to the position of chief – you had to kill a lion.

Which worked well right up until the lion took offense and retaliated.

At which point they changed the protocol to incorporate *Adumu*.

Which translates into “he who jumps the highest is chosen as chief of the group”.

After which they all sit around the campfire singing choruses of

*ooh ee ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang*

It’s a no brainer – the warrior clearing 306 centimetres unquestionably beats the one who peaked out at 232 centimetres and thus becomes the head honcho.

No mulligans.

I’m drawn to the electoral shenanigans being played out across our sealed border like a fly to bear scat.

The President Elect vs. the President Reject.

Far be it for me as a Canucklehead to weigh in preference – God knows we’ve got enough issues here at home to deal with.

But as is the case with watching a chess match – the antics of the spectators can be more than a little fascinating to a disenfranchised observer than the match itself.

As if watching the performance of Rudy Giuliani at a press conference the other day with streaks running down the side of his head resembling a character out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show weren’t enough, the rantings on social media are about as over the top as it gets.

One that caught my attention just prior to unhooking my FaceBook access was an explanation from an unknown (to me anyhow) poster as to the extent of fraudulent vote counting and I quote ad verbatim:

“the Homeland Security watermarked ballots are not only trackable and serial numbered, but are embedded with an advanced hi-tech quantum system that *reads the minds* of voters in real time. In 2 ½ seconds it identifies the voter in an exact location at an exact time, checks legality, registration, date of birth, address, signature etc and if these do not match the ballot is automatically rejected. So even legal ballots that were torn up, burned or buried not only were counted, but tracked by satellite. So the statement ‘ we have the evidence’ is an understatement –“they” watched in real time what was happening”


No wonder Rudy was sweating –“they” were watching.

Now if only he could get the Klingons to release said data – we could all get this show on the road.

Forget this wholly unsustainable representation by population electoral method.

Let’s bring Adumu into the fold.

One jump and the winner takes all.

And if you subscribe to the “it ain’t over until the fat lady sings” message – just keep your eyes on the campfire and listen for strains of *ooh ee ooh ah aah*

No more waiting around to crown the new chief.

Adios until next time


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