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Updated: Oct 1, 2020

Time for a new career.

If for no other reason than to divert my attention away from testing out the never ending stream of breads, cakes, cookies and other assorted items being prepared daily by my lovely bride in her effort to combat boredom.

My biggest fear is that by the time this fiasco is over and done with and a Caribbean getaway beckons, someone from Greenpeace will spot me laying on the beach and attempt to drag me back into the water.

A couple of random thoughts raced through the vacuum of my mind at around 2AM.

With the new requirement that airline passengers are required to wear masks upon arrival at the airport, going through security is going to get tricky.

“Excuse me but are you folks related?”

“No – why?”

“You all bear a striking resemblance to each other!”

It’s a given that identification will be problematic.

Introducing the *Fool Me Once-Shame on You Masking Kit*

For the princely sum of $20.20 ( or 29 barrels of oil) this kit comes with a distinctive face mask as well as a collection of stickers matched to your mask that can be placed atop your passport photo.

Problem solved.

Alternatively a face mask custom designed to match your passport photo which after having been washed will show signs of wear, tear and wrinkling.

Which given the current state of affairs might be appropriate.

Sticking with masks, anyone here ever envision a time when we’d walk into the bank with a mask on, hand the teller a note, get money handed to us and then walk out unimpeded by the guard who was under instructions to stand down from a distance of 2 meters?

Billy the Kid would roll over in his grave.

Especially if he knew that at the same time he’d have been able to send a telegram to the government requesting they put additional money into the bank so that there’d be no chance of the vault being empty on his next visit.

Every day has become Halloween – we ring the bell, grab a bag off the porch, and run like hell.

I can hardly wait for the next series of mandated procedures to come out of the Institute For Remedial Make Work Projects at the World Legislative Headquarters.

With a little luck they’ll ban Greenpeace as a counterproductive organization.

At which point I can use some of my leftover government funding to secure a beach towel in the Caribbean without fear of being dragged back into the water.

Adios until next time.

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